‘I am because we are, since we are, therefore I am’ – John Mbiti

I’m reading the book ‘country of my skull’ by Antjie Krog (been looking for the book since 2004 and finally have my hands on it). A great book – has won many wards nationally and internationally.

…Came across very sensitive, insightful and informative issues, the book is about our South Africa history – Apartheid, how the core of South Africa’s being, race (black and white), was what provoked actions in the past, has formed our present identity and has shaped our perspective of the future.

Two prominent figures in the country, Thabo Mbeki (current President of the country) and Bishop Desmond Tutu (noble prize winner) dissect the words reconciliation and forgiveness. Tutu says ‘reconciliation is the beggining of a transformative process (one must be able to transcend one’s selfish inclinations before one can transform oneself and one’ society) for Mbeki it is a step that can follow only after total transformation has taken place’.

South Africans have a notion that we live in/ are building a rainbow nation, and I battle with that as we still don’t understand each other. Things still look the same for me, everything is still divided by race, from the food we eat, neighbourhood we live in, shops we do our grocery in and cars we drive, there is still a huge gap that can only be bridged by cultural understanding. It seems we tolerate each other because we need to coexist for our survival and that’s it! Weather this coexistence is reconciled and transformed still remains a debate.
A black friend of mine said that white people will never understand nor appreciate how black people bend their backs to accommodate them till and how they (whites) cannot do the same – this reminds me of Nozipho January-Bardill’s statement when she said ‘reconciliation will only take place the day whites also feel offended by racism, instead of feeling sorry for blacks’.

In a sense I understand her comment but do we need to go that route so to make a point or make another person realize where you are in terms of thought? I didn’t realize the complexity of the words truth, reconciliation, and transformation especially in the South African context until I read this book.

I’m due to represent the country yet again abroad, but for a longer period of time – this time, I wonder though how I am supposed to represent the country and my culture. There is no harmony between the individual and the community, I cannot be as we are not, and since we are not, therefore I am not.

…what is this rainbow nation we are talking about and trying to build, has it begun, has it worked, will it work and how do I represent my country’s identity?

Anybody out there….